Dear FineMark: How Do I Manage Finances During Divorce After 20 years?

Today’s Dear FineMark comes from a woman navigating a divorce after 20 years of marriage and realizing just how much she doesn’t know about her family’s finances. She writes:

“After 20 years of marriage, my husband and I are getting divorced. He’s always handled our finances, so I’ve never really paid much attention.

I know we have several million in an IRA, some old wills, and maybe a couple of trust documents — but I honestly don’t know what else we have or what I should be doing.”

Sincerely, Where do I start?

Today’s “Dear FineMark…” question was answered by
Private Wealth Advisor, Erin Bunnell
FineMark National Bank & Trust, Fort Myers

Many people find themselves in this position after a long marriage. The good news? With the right guidance, you can take control of your financial future.

Here’s what we recommend:

1. Build your team.

You’ll need a divorce attorney, a financial advisor, a CPA, and an estate planning attorney. This isn’t a time to go it alone — especially with significant assets involved.

2. Gather and organize information.

You mentioned the IRA and some estate documents, but it’s important to get a full picture. That includes:

• Retirement and investment accounts
• Real estate
• Business interests
• Tax returns
• Insurance policies
• Trusts and wills
  Even if your name isn’t on an account, you may have legal rights to it.

3. Update your estate plan.

This is a critical — and often overlooked — step during divorce. Here’s what to focus on:

• Revise your will if your ex-spouse is listed as a beneficiary or executor
• Amend any trusts and update successor trustees and beneficiaries
• Update beneficiary designations on life insurance, IRAs, and payable-on-death accounts
• Appoint new powers of attorney for healthcare and finances
• Revise advance directives, including your living will and healthcare proxy
• Address your children’s needs, including guardianship or trust provisions
• Confirm that assets awarded in the divorce are reflected accurately in your updated plan

4. Think ahead.

This moment isn’t just about separation,  it’s about what comes next. You’ll want a new financial strategy, a clear understanding of your assets, and a plan that supports your goals.

Have a question for Dear FineMark? Submit it today—we’re here to help you navigate life’s financial complexities with clarity and care. Learn more about our Dear FineMark series here.