Today’s Dear FineMark comes from a daughter preparing to welcome her mother, who has mid-stage dementia, into the home she shares with her husband and children. She writes:
“My mother will soon be moving in with us. We are remodeling the bathroom to add a walk-in shower, our grocery bill and utilities will increase, and we’d like to bring in a part-time caregiver to help my mom stay active and safe. Can we use her assets for these expenses? And is it reasonable for us to receive some compensation for the care we’ll be providing?” – Daughter Trying to Plan
First, yes—your mother’s assets can generally be used to pay for her care.
If you hold durable power of attorney, you can manage your mother’s finances in a way that supports her health, safety, and quality of life. That includes contributing to household expenses, purchasing groceries, and making necessary changes to your home, like adding a walk-in shower.
Second, yes, it is possible to be paid as a caregiver.
In fact, many states allow this, but it must be handled carefully. The key is documentation. We recommend working with an elder law attorney to draft a formal caregiver agreement. This outlines your duties, compensation, schedule, and how payments are made. Without this, payments could be seen as gifts or improper transfers, especially if Medicaid assistance is ever needed.
Third, hiring an outside caregiver, even if you’re home, is a wise move.
Dementia care is demanding. Having someone come in to assist with one-on-one attention, activities, or just to give you a break, benefits everyone involved. Again, these expenses can typically be covered by your mom’s assets, assuming there’s adequate planning and documentation.
Caring for a parent at home is a meaningful commitment, but it’s also work. With proper planning, you can make sure that your loved one is well cared for and that you protect your financial and emotional wellbeing in the process.
