This is one of the most meaningful questions we hear from clients with considerable wealth—and there’s no single right answer. Ultimately, it depends on your financial situation, your values, and the dynamics within your family:
“Dear FineMark, My husband and I are in our early 70s. Over the years, we’ve been fortunate—built a successful business, invested well, and now have more than enough to live comfortably and support the causes we care about.
We have three adult children, all in different life stages. One is still paying off student loans, another is buying their first home, and the third recently launched a startup.
We’ve started to ask ourselves: Should we begin giving them money now, when it could really help them, or wait and leave everything as part of their inheritance?
We’re not trying to create dependency or upset the balance between siblings, but we also know how impactful a well-timed financial gift can be.”
Signed, Conflicted Parent
There’s something deeply rewarding about seeing your children benefit from your generosity while you’re still here. Whether it’s helping them buy a home, build a business, or reduce financial stress, lifetime gifts can be a way to pass on not just wealth, but wisdom. Some parents use these moments to teach about investing, budgeting, or charitable giving.
There are also practical advantages:
- Tax efficiency: In 2024, you can gift up to $18,000 per person, per year, without triggering gift taxes. Larger gifts may require a gift tax return but generally don’t result in actual taxes owed.
- Estate reduction: For families with taxable estates, gifting during your lifetime can help reduce the size of your estate and potential estate tax exposure.
- Help when it matters most: Sometimes a financial boost today—like a down payment or business funding—is far more valuable than a future inheritance.
Of course, there are trade-offs. Giving too much too soon could affect your long-term financial security, especially considering increased longevity and rising healthcare costs. And while gifts can uplift, they can also create tension or entitlement if not communicated and structured carefully.
Leaving an Inheritance
There’s also wisdom in waiting. Retaining control of your assets ensures your own financial stability and allows you to plan a legacy with intention. You can use tools like trusts to distribute wealth according to your wishes—whether that’s gradually over time, with certain conditions, or equally among children.
This approach can:
- Reduce the risk of conflict or financial dependence during your lifetime
- Offer protection for your heirs from divorce, lawsuits, or poor financial decisions
- Help you leave a lasting legacy for future generations
Finding the Right Balance
This isn’t just a financial decision—it’s also a personal one. You might consider these questions as a starting point:
- Do we have enough to live comfortably, even in the face of unexpected expenses?
- Would we enjoy seeing our children benefit from our support today?
- Are our children financially responsible?
- Would we prefer to gift equally, or tailor gifts based on individual needs?
- Do we want to avoid surprises by communicating our intentions now?
Working with a trusted advisor or estate planning attorney can help you weigh your options and structure a plan that protects your values, your family harmony, and your financial well-being.
In the end, giving—whether now, later, or both—is a beautiful act of care. The key is to approach it thoughtfully and intentionally.
